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The Design of Your Life

Waking up one morning recently, I found myself wondering how I was reconstructing a new mosaic from all the bits and pieces of my life - all those scores of colored tiles representing each vibrant moment or turning point, and especially those unassimilated ones that I still don't know where to place, and hence what the completed design will be.

For example, I grew up surrounded by lovely Catholic churches. I was drawn to their mystery and beauty. Fearing my parents' harsh judgment of religion, I kept my nascent religious impulse to myself. Other experiences, like my long history of evolving heart problems or anger at my mother's controlling disinterest, would take many many colored tiles to depict. Some of the tiles in my emerging mosaic are brighter and more reflective than others; some are larger, some smaller. The more I look back, the more pieces I needed to put in my completed design.

I believe we gradually come understand our completed design in the aging process. Looking back, inspecting each piece and trying to figure out where it fits, flows from our need to review our life journey. What has it really been all about? Surprisingly, some pieces don't seem to fit at all, yet they must, which means that I have the larger design wrong. Unsure still what the Creator had in mind, I am certain that the completed design will not be what "I" thought it should be, but something far more meaningful and significant.

A great aging exercise is to cut out all pictures from old magazines that in some way symbolize the key moments and themes of your life, and then paste them on a board to make a collage of the experience so far. Add pieces symbolizing your future if you like. Then sit back and tell your story anew. You'll know when you've found the meaning of that story because it will feel so right. Expect to be surprised and gratified at the discoveries revealed in your still-completing design.
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